I’m the type of guy who doesn’t shy away from wildlife, no matter how wild the life. If a trail at a national park says to "Beware of mountain lions," it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ll find me on that trail looking for a mountain lion.
This place is no different, although I’ve had to adjust my tactics. There is a field I have to traverse to get to work sometimes. It’s not a very big field, and it has varying grass heights. Parts of it get mowed, other parts are kept short by roving goats, and other parts rarely get cut so the grass grows about knee-height. Some of my friends pointed out that sometimes people have found snakes in that field. Snakes? Cool!
Oh! The snakes are often cobras.
I’ve stopped walking across that field.
. . . at night, that is. Let’s not get unnecessarily frightened here. I would love to see a wild cobra! From a relatively safe distance, anyway. I figure I’ve got the goats as an early-warning indicator during the day when they’re out. I just stay away from the tall grass where I can’t see anything.
Do they have some kind of reptile exhibit you could go to? We’d hate to lose you.
You need to get yourself a pet mongoose and walk it on a leash with you through the tall grass.
Be careful, Chris!
I’ve lost your e-mail address. You’ve probably seen this joke but in case you haven’t here it is:
Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding
enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station
at Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device
to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill.
The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading
300 miles per hour. The officer tempted to reset the radar gun,
but it would not reset and then turned off.
Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar
had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a
low flying exercise near the location.
Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint
to the USMC Base Commander. The reply came back in true USMC style:
Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident.
You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet
had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile
radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which
is why it shut down.
Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had
also automatically locked on to your equipment location.
Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation
for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and
was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was
launched to destroy the hostile radar position.
The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since
the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson, the
officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left
rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on
his holster.
Thank you for your
concern. Semper Fi.
Awesome joke!
Does anyone know if I can export a mongoose out of Hawaii? I hear they have plenty of mongeese (sp?) and no snakes. If I can get one, I plan to name him “Ricki-tiki-tavi.”